Why is respecting women represented as glorified way of protecting them?
Do you ever watch typical Bollywood movies where the man saves the girl and she falls for him and then goes their happily ever after. I wonder if the man who protected her from the goons, would he ever protect her from her own insecurities? Or would he ever let the girl make her own choices? Or would he ever look at some other beautiful smart girl and care less about the length of her dress? And it seems like none of this was ever actually seen by the girl in the movie and then the story of how he protected her turned into a misinterpreted tale of respect.
Don’t misunderstand me guys, I for one am so thankful that you people look out for us, protect us at public spaces but honestly that’s not all that we want from you; for a story of 3 hours that seems apt, you know he fought and then she fell in love; but in a story of lifetime I would want you to stand up for me if you think it’s right, give me the power of making the decisions and help me when I need you or ask help, care a little less about the gender of the person I am going out with or the dress I am wearing but about the character of the person and his or hers company with me. Don’t treat us as object treat us as beings; and for a sentence I know it is highly used but what we mean is don’t ask for our photos from a random person and show them to your friends, do not ask us ‘why?’ When we say no, do not share “our” talks with a friend of yours without even asking me, do not take our word and opinion as a statement you can make on our behalf even if the person has said “I do” a hundred times, and you can hate us for changing our mind at the last moment but please don’t push us at that moment respect the decision and leave, do not take marriage as forever yes, and do not take a yes as an authority to rule us.
When we say we are queens we mean you are our kings and in an empire of ours we hold equal status.
And for girls out there please be vocal, loud and bold. Tell them what you want and what is not okay with so much grace that it doesn’t make them feel bad about themselves. Call out on an inappropriate behavior with statements like “Hey, I am not comfortable with this conversation” “can we please talk about something else I am not okay with this” “maybe you didn’t mean it in any other way but can you please not touch me I don’t like people in my personal space” and if someone says them to you accept them with love because equality cannot be achieved if it’s a one way blame game. Be so bold that you can never accept an inappropriate behavior and call out the person whenever needed; because girls in this generation we stand with each other, we are proud of each other and we know how and whom to respect and we can do it even without touching their feet with foremost grace.
Moreover, love with so much purity and the real respect that even after years you understand each other’s choices and boundaries.
On that note have fun,
Toddles.